Realize
by Dark-Phantasmagoria
Summary: After a near-death experience and being saved once again by the Castiel, Dean realizes that he has always loved the angel and that he wants to be with him forever.


Castiel saves Deans life yet again, and Dean realizes that there _is _something more between them...

The ceiling began to collapse, and Castiel immediately teleported over to Dean. He pushed him out of the way so that the slab of the wall didn't fall on top of him. Sighing with relief, Cass pulled him out of the wrecked house and onto the street corner. They couldn't stay here.

"Hold on," Casssaid, grabbing Dean's arm and teleporting. In a moment they were back in Dean's car, the Impala, which was parked on the side of the road a few streets over.

"Couldn't you make us disappear to somewhere useful?" Dean yelled angrily. Cassfrowned and shrugged off Dean's rage, feeling inside like he had just done the worst thing in the world.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know where you wanted to go…" he said quietly.

"Just take us back to– I don't know get us to a hospital or something. My shoulder is fucking killing me dude," Dean said glaring at Cas.

"Sorry… I–maybe I can just heal you here. Would that be okay?" Cass asked hesitantly. Dean looked at him a little softer and Cass guessed that he wasn't as angry now.

"Sure. You can do that, huh…" Dean said, feeling subdued...

"Yes. Where does it hurt?" Cass asked innocently.

"Are you–" Dean began, but then stopped. He didn't need to yell at Cass, after all, the angel had saved his life, again…

"My shoulder and neck. I think that I broke something," he said quietly. Cass nodded and pulled up the sleeves of his trench coat.

"Okay, I'm not sure, but this might hurt," he said.

"Might?" Dean asked, but before he could say anything else, Cass put his hands on Dean's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Ouch!" Dean yelled in pain as his shoulder was snapped back into place. He was just about to cuss Cass out when he realized that he felt incredibly better.

"Thanks," he muttered, looking at Cass.

"You're welcome…"

They both fell silent, and Cass looked into Dean's green eyes.

"I do think that you should meet back up with Sam," Cass said.

"Can you please talk about anything other than Sam?" Dean asked irritably. Cass shrugged.

"Well, I suppose," Cass said with his classic shrug and smile. "Did you know that God doesn't really care about sexual orientation? It's all made-up by the men that wrote the bible," said Cass suddenly, looking at his thumbs.

Dean said still for a moment in shock. Why on earth would Cass say something like that? He neither cared nor wanted to know what God thought. God was never there to change anything anyways…

"I–no," Dean said, gulping a little. He couldn't yell at Cass. The angel didn't know any better. He was notorious for bringing up strange and uncomfortable topics…

"Interesting," Dean said slowly, trying to wrap his mind around why Cass would say that… He looked at his "savior's" brown hair and tired face.

"You know, you look like hell," he said with a smile. Cass nodded.

"It isn't of import," he said quietly, waving his hand nonchalantly.

"No man, I'm serious. I know you don't need sleep but, don't you feel tired sometimes?" Dean asked, looking slightly worried.

"Dean, I'm always tired. The work of God is difficult. Between trying to keep Lucifer and the other demons at bay, and trying to protect you…" "And Sam…" Cass added quickly, "I'm exhausted."

Dean nodded. "You need to drink," he said, running his fingers through his hair.

Cass laughed. "It never really works… Takes forever to feel something," Cass said, pausing as he said it. He shrugged and looked at the steering wheel.

"I can't drive."

"Haha, Cass you're funny. Seriously, here's the keys, let's go," said Dean, pulling out his keys and dangling them in front of Cass's face.

"No. I mean it. I can't drive. Mind if I just transport us back to your motel?" Cass asked, looking sad at his disability.

"Here, just switch seats with me," Dean said a little irritably. Cass obliged and Dean drove them back, ignoring the speed limits. He just wanted to lie down…

When they got back into the hotel room Dean kicked off his shoes and collapsed on his bed. Cass stood awkwardly by the door for a moment and looked at Dean.

"Where can I sit?" he asked, standing still. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Cass just come sit here. There's no other place. I got the room for as cheap as I could, so no couch…" Dean said. For a moment he thought of Sam and how they always would joke about their financial situation, but he shook the thoughts out of his head.

"Dean, I'm sorry about earlier. I think I made you uncomfortable. I'm not too good at reading emotions," said Cass. Dean looked at him, feeling crappy about what he said.

"It's okay. Honestly, it's kind of nice, not having Sam around. He and I were just at each other's throats all of the time," Dean shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. "I mean, most of the time we were pretty much the Kryptonite of each other," Dean bit his lip.

"I don't understand that reference," Castiel said, confused. Dean laughed.

"Right. I forget. You know, Superman? He flies around saving people and is almost invincible, but the one thing that can kill him is this element called Kryptonite. Only, he's just a fake character, unlike what we deal with everyday…"

"Oh–I think I understand," said Cass with a look that said _I'm trying to understand your human ways._

"Yeah. You know, I guess I'm sort of in your debt, huh? I mean, you've saved my life like what, fifteen times?" Dean said, chuckling a bit.

"You don't have to think of it as being in my debt Dean. You've done plenty for me," Cass said, staring at the wall. He couldn't hold Dean in his debt… Dean had shown him how to act somewhat like a human, sometimes… Cass felt sad though. Sometimes he wished that he were just an ordinary human...

_I always freak him and Sam out with the way I speak… Why couldn't God have given us some understanding of humans?_

"Hey man, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," said Dean suddenly. Cass looked at him in surprise.

"For what?"

"Remember when I made you go to that strip club? Or I guess as you called it the 'Den of Inequity?'" Dean said. He didn't know why he had done that to Cass when it obviously had made him very uncomfortable.

"Forget it… It was fine, other than when I told that girl about her father," Cass said, staring into space with a strange look on his face. He was surprised that Dean remembered the exact words that he had used.

"Since then, have you—I don't know, done the 'angel nasty'; broken your holiness?" Dean said, grinning a little bit.

Cass looked at Dean nervously. "Why? It's not my place to do what mortal men indulge in. I'm supposed to be better than that," Cass said, his eyes growing a little wider with nerves.

"Just wondering. I just feel like you always pop out right when I want to ask you something personal… Do you not want me to know things about you? I just have questions, like why do you always come when I'm sleeping? Isn't it boring to wait for me and Sam to wake up so you can tell us things?" Dean asked, now thinking of all of the weird things that Cass always does.

"I'm not actually sure why I do that… It's strange that I don't have to sleep. When Lucifer or other demons aren't causing trouble, I don't really do much. I'll just wait until I need to do work of God."

Dean sat up and looked at Castiel.

"Ah, I'd seriously get bored with your job… But then again, I'd rather do that then mine sometimes…"

"I know you would. I can't die. You can die any day with your work," said Cass frankly.

"Yeah, I guess. But hey, you'll always bring Sam and I back, right?" Dean said. He stopped then, and thought about his words for a moment. It was really strange to think that Cass _was _always there when he called. His own family wasn't even with him, and yet he had Cass looking after him every day and night.

"Do you actually care about us?" he asked before Cass could even answer his other question.

"I–um, well of course I'll always look out for you…. And Sam," Cass said, tacking Dean's brother's name on at the end. He always did… He couldn't reveal his true feelings.

"Do you really care though?" Dean asked, pressing him more.

Cass sat in shock, looking at Dean for the longest time. And then, out of nowhere Dean knew what he had wanted since the day they met Castiel. He knew in his heart that the angel was the only one other than Sam to truly understand him… Castiel, the messenger of God, savior of Dean's life many times over, was his soul mate. Dean didn't care about all of the other women that he had been with when he looked at Cass. He didn't know why it had taken so long to see that his true love was always right there beside him.

"Never mind… Cass?" he asked, beginning to tremble.

"Are you alright?" Cass asked wearily, looking at Dean's distress. Dean couldn't possible make out another word, so he did the one thing that he knew he could. He leaned forward and pulled Cass into him, kissing him full on the lips. For a single second Cass felt too overwhelmed to do anything. But he realized that all of their little exchanges, all of Dean's insults and jests, were out of love. Castiel, the pure angel, son of God, fell then, and never looked back. He kissed back Dean Winchester, the idiotic mortal who hunted demons, and felt a strange, new sensation leap into his very soul. Castiel finally felt the one emotion that was the line that distinguished the angels from mortals—passion. Castiel could not control himself, and suddenly he was entangled in Dean's arms, loving him back with so many feelings that he was almost bubbling over. Dean nearly ripped off Cass's trench coat and began to work at his shirt, while Cass just sat dumbstruck for a moment. But, being an angel, he picked up quickly and energetically began to remove Dean's clothes as well.

The two intertwined and Castiel became a passionate fire as he pushed Dean onto the soft, green comforter. Dean kissed Cass's neck, wondering how he had resisted this temptation for so long, wondering why he had not known that he was in love with Castiel the angel.

They became one entity, and Dean felt more than he had felt with any woman in his life. It was an actual sensation of possession, belonging, and right. He knew that Castiel was meant to be his. He didn't care about anyone else in the world than this perfect, soft-spoken, beautiful and powerful Castiel.

Cass was utterly astonished at how accomplished he actually was with sex. He seemed to know everything all of a sudden, as if a shade had been ripped off of his eyes. It was almost a spiritual moment, where he knew in his heart that Dean and himself were meant to fight off the demons and evil in the world together. Even if God was gone forever, even if his father had abandoned him and the the rest of the Garrison, God had left Cass the one being that truly mattered—Dean Winchester.

#

"Mmm," mumbled Dean. He felt the warm sunlight streaming through the window as it warmed his bare back. He was lying on his stomach, naked under the covers, and feeling strangely peaceful. Dean fought the urge to wake up, trying to remember dreams from the night before. But, instead, he was met with a much different image. Him and Castiel… Had it actually happened? It seemed to perfect, to incredibly blissful to be true. Dean kept his eyes closed, thinking about the beautiful fantasy that would never come true. And then, he heard something off to the left.

"Who's there?" Dean gargled, sitting up. It was only then that he realized that he was sitting under the covers, nude, and standing by the window, looking into the distance, was a naked Castiel.

"Cass?" he asked uncertainly, trying to recall why the fantasy of his dreams seemed so real.

Castiel turned around, and Dean saw that something had changed in his eyes.

"Yes?" Cass asked, looking sweet and innocent.

"Did we?" Dean asked, unable to get out anything else. Cass walked over to the foot of the bed and pulled on his trench coat that was lying on the floor.

"Yes, we did," he said, sitting on the foot of the bed. "And, although I thoroughly enjoyed it, if you want to forget everything and have me never speak to you again that's alright with me," Cass said somewhat pitifully. Dean looked at him in astonishment.

"Forget? Why?" He couldn't help smiling at the angel.

"I love you Cass," he whispered. Castiel's face lit up with amazement and love.

"Really? Dean, you broke me. I fell from being pure, and I loved every moment of it. I—I honestly return your affections," he said in his customary proper English. Dean almost broke at the sweet Cass that he had always loved.

"Cass I'm sorry that I didn't tell you," Dean said, feeling like crying now. Cass leaned forward and hugged him, and Dean realized that it was one of the only hugs they had ever exchanged.

"Dean Winchester, you are the only human that I have ever loved, and I never want to lose you," Castiel said, looking deep into Dean's green eyes. At that, Dean's voice broke and he stared deeply into Cass's beautiful blue eyes.

"You won't," he said, and kissed Cass with all of his love. When they pulled apart, Cass smiled.

"I suppose you don't want to talk about serious things, like demons or Sam then?" he asked, being innocent, as he knew so well.

"Just blow me Cass," Dean said as he always did when Cass irritated him with uncomfortable topics.

"Gladly," Castiel said, grinning ear to ear.


End file.
